An 85-year-old couple, married for almost 60 years, tragically passed away in a car accident and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Thanks to the wife’s obsession with healthy diets and exercise, they had been in great shape for the last decade. St. Peter greeted them warmly and led them to their heavenly mansion—complete with a huge bedroom, Jacuzzi, gourmet kitchen, and even a billiards table.

“Wow! How much does this cost?” the husband asked. “Nothing,” St. Peter replied. “This is Heaven—everything is free!” Next, he showed them a championship golf course just minutes from their home, where they could play anytime, have an angel as a caddy, and enjoy a course that changed daily to mimic the world’s most elite greens.“Incredible!” the wife said. “And the green fees?”

“Free,” St. Peter chuckled. “This is Heaven.”

Then, they toured a five-star restaurant featuring an all-you-can-eat feast—Wagyu beef, lobster, prime rib, exotic vegetables, and desserts straight from a dream.

The husband, still skeptical, asked, “Okay… but how much?”

“Sir, for the last time… FREE. This is Heaven!”

The husband hesitated. “Well… do you have any low-fat, low-cholesterol options?”

St. Peter laughed. “In Heaven, you’ll never gain weight or get sick. Eat whatever you want!”

Suddenly, the husband turned red, clenched his fists, and started shouting at the sky.

“What’s wrong??” his wife asked, confused.

He pointed at her and yelled, “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! If it weren’t for your damn bran muffins and paleo chicken, WE COULD HAVE BEEN HERE TEN YEARS AGO!!!”