I need some outside perspective on a heated disagreement between my husband (32M) and me (30F). We have been married for two years and have always had a fair and equal division of expenses. Prior to my maternity leave, our monthly expenses included rent of $1500, utilities of about $200, and miscellaneous expenses.

However, we recently had a beautiful baby boy named Ethan. He is now three months old, and taking care of him has kept me busy 24/7. And I haven’t had the bandwidth to look for part-time work. When I approached my husband about the possibility of having him cover all of our expenses while I was on unpaid maternity leave, he was completely opposed to the idea. My husband said, «We agreed to split everything equally, and I’m still working. It’s only fair that you pay your half. You not currently working doesn’t mean you shouldn’t contribute financially.» So he thinks I should continue to pay my half of the rent, even though I don’t have any income right now. I was taken aback by his response, especially since I am the primary caregiver for our newborn. It feels unfair to expect me to pay half of our rent when my time and energy are dedicated to caring for our child. The sleepless nights, constant feeding, and diaper changes have left me physically and emotionally drained. On top of that, we now have additional expenses related to our baby’s needs, such as diapers, formula, and doctor visits, which add to the financial strain. I have tried to explain to him that being on unpaid maternity leave is a temporary situation and that I will be actively looking for part-time work as soon as I am able. In the meantime, I have suggested that he consider paying my share of the rent until I am able to contribute financially again. However, he remains adamant that we should still split everything equally, stating that he is already taking care of additional expenses related to our baby’s needs.

I understand the importance of financial responsibility, but I feel like my husband is not taking into account the significant workload I have to take on as a new mother. Under the circumstances, am I wrong to expect him to pay the entire rent while I am on unpaid maternity leave? It’s not uncommon for couples to face challenges when it comes to managing finances, especially during major life transitions such as the arrival of a newborn. Your situation highlights the importance of communication, empathy, and understanding in the resolution of disagreements. First of all, congratulations on the birth of your baby boy, Ethan! Parenthood brings immense joy, but it also comes with its share of responsibilities and adjustments. As the primary caregiver, it’s understandable that you may feel overwhelmed by the demands of caring for a newborn while also dealing with financial concerns.

Your husband’s stance on continuing to share expenses equally during your unpaid maternity leave reflects a commitment to the financial arrangements you both made earlier. However, it’s important to recognize that circumstances have changed significantly with the addition of a new family member. Your role as a caregiver requires significant time, effort, and emotional investment, which may temporarily limit your ability to contribute financially.